Need to have my head examined

Whoa, it's been a while. Am in Arkansas visitin' the family right now. Last week I went to Kansas for a few days to see my BFF Chrissy, her husband Howard, and their children Katie and Ben. I had a fantastic time, and actually contemplated moving to Kansas (KANSAS??!!) because I don't think I can stand another year away from Chrissy. And somewhat unexpectedly, being around Katie and Ben left me longing for leaky boobs and stitches holding together my torn private parts.....