Our governmental institutions, hard at work. (or, Why me?)

Living out of the country for the last several years, it has been fairly easy to ignore certain pains-in-my-ass that I should have dealt with a long time ago but haven’t.

1. I may or may not have a warrant for my arrest in California due to an unpaid traffic ticket. I don’t think they’ve issued a warrant, but they have threatened several times, according to my mother, who gets my mail for me. My problem, and the reason I haven’t dealt with it yet, is this: I only got my AR license switched to a CA license THREE DAYS before I left California for Ireland. In order to get my CA license, I was required to pay any outstanding fines at that time. So I paid all my parking tickets, etc, so I could get the CA license. I phoned California a while back and was informed the ticket was logged in September in Van Nuys. Problem number two: I’ve never been to Van Nuys. Obvious administrative error. Problem number three: They informed me I must appear in court in Van Nuys to clear it up. WTF?! I won’t be in Van Nuys anywhere in the foreseeable future. Thus the possibility of a warrant for my arrest.

2. Not too long after I moved to Morocco, Mom opened a letter addressed to me from the State of Arkansas telling me they had noticed my federal taxes for year 2002 were filed using an Arkansas address. I filed with an AR address because I was, at the time of filing, living in Ireland but wanted my refund sent to my mom’s house in Arkansas. Makes sense, right, that I don’t have said refund sent to some address in California where I don’t live any more? Well, Arkansas tax folks, in all their brilliance, decided that if I filed with an AR address, it must mean I was living and working in AR in 2002 and therefore owe AR taxes. My question is, when they looked at my federal tax return to see I’d used an AR address, could they not also have seen my employer was a California company? Dammit? The best part is I had JUST thrown out my copies of my 2002 tax returns when I moved from Dublin to Morocco. After cartin’ it all around Dublin for three years, the moment I throw it away is the moment I need it. And now they're threatening to “lien” on me. Get it? “Lien on?” Ha ha ha. Anyways, I gotta make long-distance-from-Morocco phone calls to sort that crap out.

The reason this stuff is now coming to be a big pain in my ass again (because I could easily continue living out of the country and ignoring it for yeeeeaaaarrrrrrs to come) is that I have to get a background check in order for Lahcen and me to get married. Which background check has to be sent to the American Embassy here, so they can issue some sort of “citizen in good standing” paper to the Moroccan authorities. I guess they don’t want Moroccans marrying criminals. That’s no fair, if you ask me. Criminals have feelings too!

Contacting the aliens

Who knew tin foil hats could be s'dern cute?

Squashed

Poor itsy bitsy spider.

Berlin on a sunny day

Took these photos from the top of the Berliner Dome, a protestant cathedral. Almost 300 steps to the top. I nearly died. Really.

Germany rocks

Remnants of the Berlin Wall

New Berlin Tours has a free 4-hour walking tour of Berlin which I highly recommend. Interesting and informative, especially for people like me who slept through any and all world history classes. Stories of the Reichstag and how Hitler came to power, through WWII and his suicide, on to Soviet control and spies and such. My favorite story was how the Wall came down... I think we all know it was an inevitability, but according to our tour guide, it would have happened at a much later date but for a goof up on the part of the East Germany Press Secretary. Vodka and public speaking apparently don't mix when you're unprepared for question and answer sessions. Anyways if you ever go to Berlin, make it a point to head on this walking tour. But try to choose a day when it's not zero degrees and raining/snowing. Four hours in the freezing rain isn't terribly pleasant, even when you're being entertained.

The day after I got to Berlin I met up with Ian and did a bit of exploring before meeting up with the lads from Lluther and Moth Complex. They were playing a gig that night at Sage Club, which of course was spectacular. We had planned to hang out in Berlin the next day, but circumstances put us heading to Hamburg the next morning. Cool for me, 'cause I got to see the Reeperbahn and a tiny bit of Beatley stuff. Uncool because it meant not getting to spend much time with Aoif and Ger and Ro and company. Ian and I caught the train back to Berlin that same evening. German trains are pretty comfy, even in 2nd class.

All in all it was a great trip; I had never listed Germany very high on places I wanted to go, but now I see I was fooooooolish. Berlin was really beautiful. It has so much history, and best of all is really clean and organized; I sometimes miss living in a 1st world country. It was so cleeeeeeeaaaan. Like, recycling and stuff. I'll have to write a letter to King Mohammed VI and get him to make littering illegal in Morocco. Another day, perhaps.

On turning 30

Yeah, so I turned 30 a few days ago. Everyone was asking me that day, “How does it feel?”

And of course it doesn’t really feel any different.

I had this idea that I ought to be slightly depressed, like “Oh, what am I doing with my life? This is not where I thought I would be at thirty! Oh, no! Am I screwing up? What am I doing!!?? Woe is me!” But strangely enough, those thoughts didn’t ever really cross my mind. At least, not seriously.

What did occur to me is that I’m busily checking off items from my things-to-do-before-I-die list. Living in a foreign country? Check. Traveling in Africa and Europe? Check. Learning a foreign language? Check. Shagging a beautiful brown boy? Check. Teaching? Check. Doing a non-desk job? Check.

Settling down, being responsible and saving money are down at the bottom of my list.